As I sat down to write the post that I meant to write months ago, the song ‘Pick up the Pieces’ by Average White Band came on my radio stream. Man, talk about loaded symbolism. I’ve got your average, white Jen right here! Let’s not even talk about all those broken bits I’ve been dropping around life lately. I’m not going to go on a rampage on how spectacularly I do or don’t have things figured out. I think by now we can all agree that 20-somethings never really have things figured out. We just go on day by day. There is nothing wrong with that. I am also not going to spend my time complaining, because most of you would stop reading. All things considered, I am extremely lucky in life. I currently have a job, I live in London and I am in a (mostly :P) functioning relationship. Do I still find things to complain and worry about? Daily. Hourly. That’s just how life goes. On the surface it looks like I have my life together, but on the inside I always feel like I’m falling apart. This is again another product of my age and our world’s design.
I’m writing mostly to say that moving to far flung places, other countries or big cities does not necessarily mean all your problems are going to be solved. When I say ‘problems’, I used the term liberally because I know it mostly concerns the 1st world type. Regardless, I think all four of us can tell stories revolving around feeling alone, being uncertain about EVERYTHING, suffocating homesickness, etc. Just because I am in London does not mean that life is suddenly a Harry Potter film (I wish…minus the death and stuff). I wanted to make this point before I began writing other posts about by day to day blunders in the UK. It is mostly my fault that in the past my posts have read more like a ‘This is all the awesome stuff I’ve done’ post rather than reality. It’s easy to get caught up in that when you are living in a place quite a ways outside the norm. London is lovely, but at the end of the day, it is just another city and a city that is very far away from almost everyone I love. I still have the same problems that everyone back in South Carolina does. I still am not doing the job I want to be doing, in the field I want to be doing it in. I still don’t have enough money to own a good computer or phone. Once I did finally get a good Smartphone, it broke within a week. This makes life extreme difficult when you have no other way to get in contact with your family across the Atlantic. All of these little things add up and you come to realise that life finds you no matter where you are. Most days, I just want a hug from my mom and for her to tell me it’s going to be alright. I’m looking forward to when Skype can make virtual hugs happen….in the next few hours? Thanks!
I just want to be real with you guys, and I hope you appreciate any future posts that evolve from that. Keep safe in the blizzard, South Carolina.
** And the worst of it all is that I’ve started to automatically write ‘z’ as ‘s’ in words. WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO?!!!!