I have some serious complexes.
One of them involves tomato seeds, another, serious anxiety about doing anything alone. As an only child, this is a bit of an anomaly; but my parents always made sure I was surrounded by other children, so I didn’t really develop the whole independent only-child-self-entertaining-satisfied-loner part of my personality. Instead, I have to pick all the tomato seeds of my sandwiches and miss out on fun opportunities because I’m afraid to do them alone.
Over the past year, though, I’ve kind of gotten over it. I don’t know if it’s a confidence thing, or like, an age thing, or, hell, a postgrad thing. But when I visited Malia in NYC & she was at her internship last summer, I sat in her apartment, watched some Hulu and waited for her to come home. I was annoyed with myself for not exploring the city, and she was equally annoyed that I literally did nothing all day when there is so much to do all day within a 2 minute walk. This year though, I was actually able to get off my ass and explore the city by myself. Sure, I had to swallow some long-running anxiety about venturing out solo without a real plan or sense of direction. But I did it. And I felt grown up.
Above is a photo I took at the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens, which I visited (alone) right before I had to catch my flight back to SC.
It’s weird to have such a juxtaposition thrown in your face. It’s like the city was like, hey, remember how lame you were exactly a year ago? Change it.
It’s good to know that I am actually growing up, and that a year from now I’ll be even more awesome.
Just…hold the tomatoes.