Read and feel better about your age! Don’t be too idealistic but don’t be too hard on yourself either. Learning this currently!
1. You are pretty. Being 24 makes you pretty by default. Your skin glows, even with acne, and your body fat is kind of adorable.
2. This is the best time in your life to read Proust and Moby Dick and to watch the complete works of Tarkovsky, Godard and Kurosawa. When you are past 28, you realise no one really cares whether you have seen them and you can get away with lying about these things.
3. Never ask a boy why he doesn’t like you. Don’t even think about why he might not be interested if he’s being a flake. Always ask yourself ‘do you like him?’
4. Have a tried and tested way of dealing with hangovers. Sleeping it off is nearly always the best option.
5. Try to get up early every second Saturday.
6. When you kiss someone for the first time, if it doesn’t feel like an orchestra is playing and a rainbow just exploded in the background, then you don’t like them. This rule isn’t always true.
7. In the future, you will dislike or be embarrassed about most of the indie bands you’re listening to right now.
8. Don’t date musicians, or self-described poets.
9. Do not go on diets but eat healthily.
10. You will get your heart broken over and over and over, and it will feel just as bad every time.
11. It is always a good time to travel.
12. Spend time in the countryside when you can.
13. Don’t panic, but it’s a good time to make plans to get out of that monotonous office job with zero prospects and depressed co-workers in their 30s that you thought was a stop-gap after university.
14. Join a union.
15. Have friends who are opinionated, ambitious, informed on current affairs, have reliable dealers, and who dance at parties.
16. Don’t sleep with all your male friends and don’t use friends as transitional boyfriends. That makes it harder to get their honest opinion on your real future boyfriends.
17. Have sex outside at least once.
18. Avoid people who use catchphrases from situation comedies in lieu of personalities and opinions.
19. Go to demonstrations and make good banners which say things like ‘No war, except war on bongos!’
20. Always go after guys who you think are at least one league above you.
21. Cooking involves combining more than three ingredients and two of them should not be salt and pepper.
22. Make sure your rent is only or less than a third of your income.
23. It’s okay to leave parties when you’re bored and it’s okay to cancel dates when you just met him at 3:00 a.m. in the kitchen of some house somewhere and he was kind of annoying but then you got talking and you just felt like you couldn’t not agree to a drink another night, because it’s just a drink, right? Oh, and you made out with him on the front step of the house before pretending you were going home in a different direction.
24. You are not “really really” old, and truthfully, you are going to feel 18, until you’re at least 45.
So anything I have to say seems very trivial compared to Tas’s current state of affairs, but I want to let everyone know a little bit about what is going on in my (arguably) more mundane life. Here is the rough outline:
Parents visited two weeks ago. It was action packed and very touristy! I quite enjoyed it, but I also enjoyed the nap I got to take after they flew home. Really miss them!
Took my LAST FINAL OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!! And I actually think I did okay.
Going to see my sister and her hubby this weekend in Northern Wales!
Got a marketing/communications internship for the next 3 months. Whoo!
Balancing my internship with my dissertation will be quite exhausting… No sleep.
Continuously stressed about future/jobs/life, but you’ve still got to enjoy the day to day.
Today is Jen’s birthday, and I want to point out that we have now been friends for half of our lives.
This is the first year in 12 that I haven’t seen her, and hopefully it doesn’t end that way.
Happy Birthday, Jen.
(luckily for you, FB doesn’t go as far back as middle school, or this gif would be wayyy scarier).
I have a question for followers: Any advice for postgrads (me) who are applying for internships & jobs but are (constantly) having zero luck?
**The never ending application process is exhausting and confidence killing!**
An important read for my fellow ladies.
Seriously. Read it.
You’re so sensitive. You’re so emotional. You’re defensive. You’re overreacting. Calm down. Relax. Stop freaking out! You’re crazy! I was just joking, don’t you have a sense of humor? You’re so dramatic. Just get over it already!
If you’re a woman, it probably does.
Do you ever hear any of these comments from your spouse, partner, boss, friends, colleagues, or relatives after you have expressed frustration, sadness, or anger about something they have done or said?
When someone says these things to you, it’s not an example of inconsiderate behavior. When your spouse shows up half an hour late to dinner without calling — that’s inconsiderate behavior. A remark intended to shut you down like, “Calm down, you’re overreacting,” after you just addressed someone else’s bad behavior, is emotional manipulation, pure and simple.
And this is the sort of emotional manipulation that feeds an epidemic in our country, an epidemic that defines women as crazy, irrational, overly sensitive, unhinged. This epidemic helps fuel the idea that women need only the slightest provocation to unleash their (crazy) emotions. It’s patently false and unfair.
I think it’s time to separate inconsiderate behavior from emotional manipulation, and we need to use a word not found in our normal vocabulary.
I want to introduce a helpful term to identify these reactions: gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a term often used by mental health professionals (I am not one) to describe manipulative behavior used to confuse people into thinking their reactions are so far off base that they’re crazy.
A small sample from this BuzzFeed article:
Clubbing in your early twenties:
Clubbing in your late twenties:
Confidence, early twenties:
Confidence, late twenties:
Excitement in your early twenties:
Excitement in your late twenties:
What about life in your nearly mid-20s?!!
5 months and counting without a phone in London. Annoys the crap out of my friends, but I actually really like the disconnected feeling. It forces people to make solid plans. Don’t get me wrong…it definitely has its down points, esp. when plans go array. Unfortunately, it can’t last much longer. The ‘real world’ will eventually figure out my scheme and force me to fold. Blugh.
Some quick hits from this list at successify.net:
1. Don’t hold grudges.
3. See problems as challenges.
4. Express gratitude for what they already have.
9. Get absorbed into the present.
22. Accept what cannot be changed.